Day #2: DBSK - Evergreen



...

Few years ago, my parents came back to the States bringing a gift from my old time friend. She wrote me a letter rambling about all the random things in her mind: bad and good times, But sometimes in the randomness, we spilled out our deepest thoughts and feelings. Idk if people usually do that. It's like parts of us were scared of the real world waiting ahead. We found our steps trembling on the road we aimlessly traveled. So we expressed it through random jokes to make it less scaryreal, and at the same time, to accept it.
She wrote sth about the lyric Evergreen. My favorite line is 다시는 나의 곁에서 눈물 흘리지 않도록"So you will never cry again by my side." This song wasnt much special when I first heard it. But the more i listened the more it grew on me. It reminded me of how much time passed by and how fast things changed.
But if we could preserve something till the very end...

I cried for a good hour reading her letter. I felt like I spent years putting a huge puzzle together and dropped it all at one. I neither knew where I was nor where to start again. It was like all the good and dearest memories slipped through my fingers. I felt lost, stuck between two places, one I for sure wasn't a part of, the other one I no longer belonged to. During that time, all I had was memories.

Evergreen,
persistence,
the long lasting,
timeless.

challengeeee~~ Day 1

k im doing this thing out of boredom and since it's out of boredom i doubt i can keep up w it lol but anywayyy

Challenge Time~~~ Post 1 song each day that has a personal meaning behind it!

Day #1: Malgopy - 사랑하기 좋은 날 / Saranghagi Joheun Nal  / Good Day to Love

This is gonna be so random Lol it's just my recent favorite song. The reason is that last month I came across this fancam of Myungsoo greeting his fans when Infinite arrived at SBS Hope Concert.
"Derpsoo 야~~ 누나 너를 너무 좋아해." ~(￣▽￣~;)
I thought the chorus was really cute n_____n. So I tried hard to find the name of the song since no one ever mentioned it in the cmmt or the video ㅠ_ㅠ and there was literally like 2 sentences of the songs ㅠ_ㅠ. I had to replay it like a hundredfew times and worked my broken hangul on google and somehow this full version showed up. Anyway, it's a cute happy song that can always put me in a good mood even during my crappiest moment C: I've been playing this in the morning when i just wake up and during shower to keep me awake ㅋㅋㅋㅋ~
It's my current ringtone too btw.

Họa Hổ Họa Bì nan Họa Cốt -
Tri Nhân Tri Diện Bất Tri Tâm.

when you realize you can't have what you need from me,
in the end you'll just leave like everyone else.

i dont want to assume anything. i just dont expect anything either.
i guess im just gonna enjoy it while it lasts.

I went back to that place today. The waterfall was running again. New leaves bloomed and covered all in soft tones of green. I watched them sway lightly in the wind as I lied down on the block. The clear blue sky casted a warm shiny glow on everything underneath it. I closed my eyes for a second.

They all look the same now, just like before. Everything's still here. It's just the people that are gone. One's  gone as if this place was just a resting shelter, nothing less, nothing more. One has walked a circle and is now back to the same spot just like in the beginning, 

365 days away.

"Dont cry because it's over, smile before it happened" -

junior year went by in a blink of the eye :| why so fast...

oh hi summer,
this whole thing scares me, early twenties, 3rd year in college, future, choices, the unknowing...


a friend of mine left to VN for good this morning @7am. we were supposed to hang out yesterday but plan was cancelled. we pretty much texted throughout the night reminding each other of random memories. i had micro bio at 8 and i decided to pull an allnight or else i could never wake up and make it to the airport at 7. but our timing didnt match so i ended up leaving to school. I think we first met during my freshman year. He was always a lil bit more special I wasnt sure why. I guessed it was the vibe we got, well, at least for me. We didnt really talk for a while though. life. I promised him a long time ago that i would get a license and drive him around, and we made jokes out of that promise everytime, since it took me forever to actually schedule for a driving test. Now i have it and he's not around anymore. I last see him when he was at work making boba, he didnt even charge my taro :) never knew it was the last time we saw each other. He called while changing plane, right after i was done with the test.

Im never good with goodbyes.

Out of all emotion, i think nostalgia is the one i feel the most. I live on memories.
...It's a weakness, isnt it?

"Nostalgia - it's delicate, but potent. In Greek, "nostalgia" literally means "the pain from an old wound." It's a twinge in your heart far more powerful than memory alone. This device isn't a spaceship, it's a time machine. It goes backwards, and forwards... it takes us to a place where we ache to go again. It's not called the wheel, it's called the carousel. It let's us travel the way a child travels - around and around, and back home again, to a place where we know are loved."

- Don Draper, "Mad Man", The Wheel (2007).

đôi khi có những thứ không biết tới chắc sẽ nhẹ lòng hơn nhiều lắm..

done with my 2nd final today. i did bad on both. x

my tummy is hurting so bad...
i've been sticking with such a strict diet for 2 months hoping it would get better and it did. the heartburn came a lot less regularly. but i stopped taking pills 2 weeks ago cause i couldnt handle the side effect anymore, and my diet messed up. it's finals week so i've been in need of lots of sugar and energy for brainstorming. i feet so stupid now for allowing myself to get fraps like 6 times these 2 weeks, while i wasn't supposed to consume that much sweet and caffeine 그리스탈 너 멍청야...
aigoo =_=
serve me right =_= 근대 이제 어떡해하지 ㅠㅠㅠ 너무 아파 죽엤다 ㅠㅠㅠ
my deceased grandma had a tumor in her stomach.. i had a fear that i would end up having the same problem...
i just hate feeling weak ㅂ_ㅂ. i hate seeing myself sick ㅂ_ㅂ
my upper half is numb with pain ㅂ_ㅂ there goes studying for physic final tomorrow.



derpsoo to brighten up the night ㅂ_ㅂ

sometimes i feel like im in a mentally and emotionally abusive relationship with myself...



anyway... new short term goal: ~(￣▽￣~;) long wavy black hair!!should i get permanent japanese perm hmmm C:
honestly i ve always wanted to do sth more different w my hair, not just commonly dye it brown or red.. I wanna try sth like brown-orange-blonde dip dye or blue/burgundy highlights... 2 tone platinum blonde/brown, raccoon highlights lol, shave the back a lil bit and get patterns, or just chop it all off and go blonde.

i have always found the perfect time to have ideas or to trying things out, like last night i decided to repair some system config and IE, which i nevelr use, while i was supposed to study for finals, and now all snuggled up in my cozy blanket talking about hair while im supposed to get my lazy butt to review for my bio final coming in 5 hours.

I made a promise to myself awhile ago that I need to stand my ground and stop letting people/life/whatever pushing me around, and that I should just surround myself with people and things that make me happy. Life has been a lot better since then.
Im comfortable doing things that I enjoy by myself. Why wasting time being around people that you cant even enjoy your time with just for the social sake?