“Some people feel like they don't deserve love. They walk away quietly into empty spaces, trying to close the gaps of the past.”
- Jon Krakauer. Into The Wild.

The birds r singing

Im lying on nina s bed

Its 4:09 am

Why r they singing

My eyes r so wet

I dont 

Know

If im crying for its bc of the makeup remover

The birds just stopped singing

The clock is ticking patiently

Someone's phone is vibrating

They re singing again. 

I like sleeping nxt to someone

Im not sure if i put too much eyedrops

or tears that keep falling

“She waited for the train to pass. Then she said, “I sometimes think that people’s hearts are like deep wells. Nobody knows what’s at the bottom. All you can do is imagine by what comes floating to the surface every once in a while.”

- Haruki Murakami.

I had a dream last night where everything was alright. But things can never be alright for long, arent they? I got lost in the rain. Everyone was filming a movie around me but they couldnt hear me. Ryan Higa was there, Harry and Hermione were there. Harry was mad bc Hermione ignored him for her actor partner. My package was soaked. My grandma said everyone left her alone at home so she bought herself a galaxy S but she gave it to me as a gift. At that point i knew i was dreaming. I could feel sth grabbing my heart so tightly it hurt... I should go visit her today... Then the filming crew moved to a pretty vintage house. I think i was Ryan Higa in my dream.. Ryan left the house noticing some dogs being chained in a corner. He later on realized the house was surround with crazy wolves so he started running back. Ryan being chased by many wolves. But since i was him in my dream, i was the one being chased. I ran for life and i could barely breathe.
Then i woke up with my heart pounding so hard it gave me a chill.
And i got this terrifying empty feeling i once had 2 summers ago...  I almost forgot how it felt... that lavender smell...
I turned in bed and snuggled close to my mom. Her tummy was warm and i felt an instant relief. But it couldnt last for too long before thoughts started rushing through my head. I struggled back to sleep and woke up again. Mom has left for work. The quiet morning i beg for every other day is now terrifying me. My left chest is aching. My tummy is aching. My heart is still pounding so hard i almost thought i could hear the sound it makes.

Why do i always have dreams of being chased and attacked...
I miss miru around. If only she were here, everything would be a bit better.
Nội ơi con xin lỗi. Con sai rồi. Con xấu.

My life doesn't make sense.

I am 22 year olds. 

When you were my age... how were you...?

"I want the fairy tale."