I closed my eyes for an hour and thousands trains of thoughts kept running in my head.
I feel hopeless about the future suffering of everyone.
I feel powerless.
I feel insignificant.
I feel unloved and unaccepted.
I feel hatred.
I feel hurt.
Im feeling everything that I dont deserve to feel.
...
I dont deserve such cruel feeling.
...
But I was the one who chose it in the beginning...
I chose it.
I climbed a 300 story tower, dangling on the edge.
waiting for people to push me down...
But they wont have to kill me... They wont have to hurt me.
They wont have to...
But they will.
They will.
Then I'll wish I die instead.
