I think that's what happens when you open up to people, you get judged.

So I taught myself to keep it all inside, hug it to sleep, say hi to it when I wake up, carry it with me to live on, and maybe accept it one day, and maybe I can really let go one day. 

And maybe I can be at peace with myself again one day. 

And maybe I can be at peace with myself  even if it's still next to me one day. 

I hope one day all these sadness will sort themselves out...

"I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again."

- F .Scott Fitzgerald

I carry its shadow with me in the sunlight.

The older I become, the easier I find it is to let go, truely, completely, sincerely...

Like a child wrapping his favorite toy tight in his arm, afraid to lose it, the older him  places the toy in a glass drawer and look at it from far away, knowing that it's his, but it doesnt belong to him, yet it's a part of him.

Nothing in this world belongs to me, yet every life I have touched, every hand I have hold, and every moment I have spent, are parts of me. No one is able to rip them off me, even myself.

They are not mine. They are parts of me.

They are not the big picture. I am the big picture. 

So I let go

because everything I let go isn't lost.