lack of sleep.

It's 1:30am and im supposed to be studying right now but like always, i ended up on youtube... I have a thing for sky lantern ever since i was little. I've watched this vid in HD a million times! This has to be the most fascinating scene i've ever seen from disney :D The first time i watched this movie was in 3D, everything was just so vivid! The first sight of the lantern light brought a hugeee smile on my face, and around 1:40 i forgot to breath, that's how crazy i am for sky lantern haha.

I remember having a list of "things-to-do-before-i-die" from years ago and seeing a sky lantern festival is still on top. Sometimes i imagine myself graduating from university (or grad school if i can) and take my mom to Thailand, Taiwan or China to see this! It'll be soooooo awesome n______n
still, i kinda wonder what happens after, it's not very eco-friendly is it?... Thousand of lanterns must have killed much oxygen... and maybe pollution after they all burn up and ashes spread out everywhere...uhm.. :|

I bought many cotton balls string lights and hung them all over my rooms. When I'm in between the border of reality and dreamland, they look like they're all floating and glowing in the air as I slowly fall asleep feeling lighthearted C: my cure of stress or depression; David Choi - By My Side and glowing lantern lights C: I leave the music playing all night whenever my mind is heavy and my heart feels weighed down. And the next morning when i wake up to soft music playing and warm yellow lights, even if it's just for a short time, it feels much better.

I always wake up early around 6 7 when i dont feel very well, emotionally. Tiring, but it's my favorite time of the day; when the sun isn't up yet, rays of blue-ish dim light sneak through the window curtain and draw stripes on the wall. Most of the time i curl up in my blanket and just lie there in good-quality solitude. I <3 sleeping in piles of blankets, "protection". Isn't it nice?
"it feels lonely" - others said. That's true in some ways. Sometimes the line between being alone and being lonely is too thin i couldn't tell them apart myself. I've read that if we enjoy the person we're alone with, we wont feel lonely, it's a quote about self-gratitude. I like the silence. I grew up around too much noise. When the world is quiet, i can finally hear myself, my thoughts, my desires... just mine and nothing else. When there is a war going on outside, I find a way to shut out everything but my own thoughts, it'll guide me through so i wont feel so lost... Not all who wander are lost anyway.

i got carried away...nvm, goodnight world C: