"What is she like?"
...
"The ocean... It's never ending, is it? No matter how long you stare at the ocean, it doesn't seem to be enough, like there's always something out there that's beyond what you can see or feel, like every wave is never the same wave and as they come closer and closer, they tie onto your gaze and draw you back. If I could I would try to hold the ocean. Sometimes Im frustrated because I can't seem to wrap my arms around her."

Late night study jam.

Lately I've been back to my obsession with Final Fantasy piano collection. 1:47-2:17 is my fav part. the first time i listened to this piano piece i thought it was beautiful and my mind started wandering back on the whole game scene. but starting at 1:47 i could immediately recall the part when Tidus looked down at his arms as crystal neon blue waves started running through his body, and then he told Yuna he had to go back T_T, that he couldnt take her to Zanarkand with him.. *SOBS* T_T. Words can not describe how incredible and inspiring and beautiful Nobuo Uematsu's compositions are >_<. I might die of happiness and overwhelming if i could attend one of his live concert one day. d(￣ ￣)

Day 4: Your view on religion.

I believe in karma.
I believe someone's watching over you.
I believe in the law of the universe.



“Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.” - Robert Louis Stevenson.

Day 3: Your view on drug and alcohol.

I dont like excessive alcohol. it doesnt even taste good. I dont know how people pick up something that tastes bad to be a social symbol. Why didnt they choose sth like sushi .. The only thing i like about drinking is that it makes me feel a bit more carefree when im tipsy. But when people overdo it and turn into idiots, it gets boring. Whats so great about a person who lose control and consciousness of what he/she s doing and throw up all over him/herself...
My dad used to say stuffs like if you step into the real world, make business and socialize with pp, you need to drink bc everyone does. Peer pressure..? but they drink so much for gods sake... now he s gradually come into an age period where he finally realizes what drinking and smoking have done to him all these years...
im not really the types who would bother to say that alcohol is bad for you bc you may get cancer this and that. i understand clearly, all those chemical reactions and consequences happening in your body the second the first shot goes down your throat. maybe im just a science nerd... but there really are such knowledge that is hard to ignore when you already know it...

thats my personal view on alcohol, and that is as far as im concerned. people can drink whatever and till whenever they want for all i care. i just hope they stay in their rooms and not causing any trouble for others.

on the other hand, i like weed. i like the smell of raw weed leaves. i did it for awhile, moderately. I think all kinds of smoke is not good for the lungs.


i have no knowledge on drugs. never tried nor i ever want to. ive not been very healthy since birth so i have had to take lots of med ever since i was little. i think i have enough of those stuffs in my bloodstream already so i dont have any interest in drugs, no...

What does it feel like being a guy and having girls think that youre attractive?
...
Its been awhile since i last drank alcohol. I went home and climbed on the back of my mom s car and lied there breathing in as much fresh air as i could, with music blasting from my headphone. It felt really nice. It sounds lonely tho. I didnt feel lonely, even though i could have. I felt great, nostalgic, but great, carefree, comfortable in my own skin, as if time stopped for a few minutes and everything else disappeared. There were only me and the cold winter air, maybe some stars, foggy night sky...
If one day i become rich, i may get myself a convertible so once in awhile, I ll sneak out at night and drive to wherever that doesnt have lots of street lights and snuggle up in the backseat with my husband.........ky in a huge blanket, chilling out and looking at stars.

I need to sleep now.

Give you time.

Sometimes I feel like my life doesn't make sense.

자세히 보아야
예쁘다
오래 보아야
사랑스럽다
너도 그렇다.
- [풀꽃 / 나태주]


"It’s only pretty if you take a look at it closely.
You have to look at it for a long time, to realize that it’s lovely.
You, too… are like that."
- 고남순 - 학규2013




I think this poem is beautiful. It's even more meaningful if you actually watch the drama and understand the situation.

I should of write more. I had too many things in my head and too much feels but so little time to put them in some sorts of words.
Without knowing, the first month of 2013 is rushing by. Time has such little patience.

I was foolish. Im still a fool.

Hello Again.

It snowed today :)
I went to troudale this morning and it snowed a lil bit after i got off the car. But after awhile i looked out the door and it was snowing a lot! The falling snowflakes were so pretty.

I was very happy.
I dreamed of grandma the night before, then it snowed the day after. I knew she could hear me.

I am very hungry right now...


------


It s 2013 now. Wow.. just wow...
a year passed by in a blink of the eyes.
2012 was a very meaningful year.. I overcame depression and social anxiety. It was terrible. Such life changing experience. I forgave. I let go. I feared. I reminisced on friendships and knew who my true friends are. I got in touch with my inner self.. even though i think im still a bit lost.. I found a balance. I had faith, even with shaking legs and hands. I MET MYUNGSOO IN FEBRUARY AND INFINITE IN APRIL!!!!!!!!ARGHGGGGG ... I got to try taking photos.. Sth i ve always been really into since i was little. I said hello. I said goodbye. I saw the world from above. I got closer with some people. I drifted away from some people. I had my patience. I learned the reasons behind things that came to my life. I got my license. I bought my first music band dvd and cd lol. There are so much more but i cant list them all. I hope i ve grown a lil bit.

I spent the yearend snuggled up in my mom's comfy bed and rewatching our fav classic drama winter sonata. My dad was drunk and fought with my mom so i didnt want her to be upset or alone on new year eve so i stayed home. since I didnt go count down with people, i felt a bit lonely so my friend and i decided to count down on skype, but we, instead, spent the very first minutes of 2013 complaining about our life hahaha great start... Jk. To be honest have many things that upset me tonight, i guess im really sensitive and its not helping at all. But having a company is always nice. I should count my blessings instead of thinking about troublesome stuffs. I hope this year i can care less. The less i care the happier i ll be. I still have many things to say but im sleepy. So goodnight :) and hello 2013!

Myungsoo ah jalja~~ Infinite jalja~