Im sleeping with my mom tonight.. I feel sick in the stomach. These days i ve been feeling so weak and tired all day, moody, stressed out of upcoming exams, stuffs... And above all i feel so unease at heart.

Its so cold in her room...
I miss my dog... Today my friend said sth about adopted dogs and cats that reminded me of my dog. Those were harmless words. But her words were very sad, at least to me they were. And tears spilled out before i realized, and i missed my dog... Back then when we had to give her away, i had a thought of her ending up in some poor adoption shelter. That happened very often... She was old. She was a very normal breed, the type people wouldnt notice... I heard she was doing fine though, that she gave birth a few times. My grandma took her home from the next door neighbor when i was in 2nd grade, summer 1997 or 1998 i think...

Its true that you can forget the doings but you can never forget the feelings. But there r certain memories i dont allow myself to touch... I got exhausted from the nostalgia, regrets and tears. Sometimes i think of those first few years after i moved to the states and a big part of me shut off. 5 years arent long at all. And even now i could barely see myself visible...

All this sickness and studying really drains me out..

I feel like throwing up