"Feelings that come back, are feelings that never went away."-

He once asked me how some ex-couples could completely cut off connection, turn off the phone and avoid each other. He said it was a bit unfair if one of them still wanted to keep the friendship or at least keep in touch, but the other chose to act like strangers or nothing ever happened before. I said I dont know. Maybe sometimes when you know there is no possible way to close your heart with someone atm, you'll force to close your eyes and ears, so that you wont see and you wont hear.

"But you didn't do that though... You didn't run away. You stayed." - he said.

I stayed because everyone is different and everyone has different way to deal with things. In return, it took every-single-cell of me to brace up and endure it. I'm the type of person that would drive the next day even when I was almost killed in a car accident yesterday, and that I would swim the next day even when i was almost drown yesterday. What I fear the most is that if I stayed away from the water for awhile, I would never dare to return to it. If I rested at home for awhile, I would never dare to get in the car again.
But eventually when a better time came, I ran away without anyone noticing. I ran for my life. I closed my eyes and I closed my ears, and patiently I waited to close that gap in the past.

The talk reminded me of sth I had a random thought of before, when I was lying on a bench at my school park late at night. When you fall in love with someone, you give away a piece of your heart and never take it back, even if you walk a separate way later on. Then there may be times when you guys come across each other again, and in a millisecond you will recognize that person as all he ever was to you, all the time passing by, all memories. Most people dont realize or believe that, because it's so quick and blurry. Some does, because the human's brain and heart are designed that way.

Because in a milisecond, you heart recognizes that tiny lost piece that you gave away.