i dont feel very well tonight...
i always try to believe that everything happens for a reason and to change me in a better way. I didnt see this coming at first, but i took the chance to see where it would lead me to. i went with the flow. but recently i've been wondering if these changes are good or bad or both...
im scared of the uncertainty.
and what scares me the most
im used to be on my own most of the time and i rarely feel lonely. but these few days i do.
i know it's something that can't be avoided but i still dont like seeing pp whom im close with come and go
im easily upset.
sometimes, i admit, im a bit scared that they ll leave when they find sth more actracting.
i never try to be close with anyone.
it's not a positive thing to do i guess.. but at least im safe. and that's not a positive excuse either
it's just that
i've seen how bad it could get, and i tried so hard to make it through, i never wanna revoke that shadow inside my heart again.
i missed that feeling when someone patted my head saying 'i ll take care of that for you' 'dont be scared, im here' ...'youre safe' 'i ll keep you safe'.
i just feel like crawling back to my shell to find my balance again.
