he's off.
and even after all this time, i look at him and silently pray to an invisible god that he may be at peace, that he's now healed, and that he's now strong and courageous enough to have faith in himself if he ever falls again.
because those are all the things i couldnt do.
i wasnt able to do it for him
i wasnt able to do it for myself
...
i asked myself once if it was just another bandaid to cover up the wound
but it looked like the wound was slowly healing under that bandaid
then i asked myself again if i should have found that magic bandaid instead of leaving that cut opened
i felt sorry. so much.
i was sorry i couldnt put that many stuffs in one small fragile container.
...
i, too, wanted to be at peace with myself. but i wasnt. it took me months and months, and i'm still not.
i feel scared all the time.
...
and on top of everything, im scared my state will scare people away,
just like how i scared myself away from people...
